Do You Want to
Make it Better
Today, many people say “for better or worse,” but as soon as a little discomfort arrives, they are ready to take flight and leave. Recently, I heard a song by Anderson Paak called “Make It Better” and I was so inspired by the song, that I wrote a Bible study series with a similar title. With all the trials of life, sometimes it comes down to two simple questions: “Do you want to stay together?” and “Do you want to make it better?”
You see, the first step to happiness in your marriage is making the conscious decision to be happy. Once you decide that you want to be happy in your marriage, the next step is to decide to make it better. How do you make it better, you ask? You make it better by doing the things that define happiness for you and your spouse. For instance, one of the common reasons that men say they are unhappy is due to lack of respect. They don’t feel appreciated. For wives, a simple way to make it better is by making a conscious effort to build your husband up with words of affirmation, rather than tear his efforts down with constant complaints. This practice takes work, but like anything else, it gets easier with practice. Also, be aware of how you phrase things. Instead of demanding something from your spouse or criticizing them, try making sweet suggestions. For example, instead of, “Haven’t I asked you six times to take out the trash?” try, “Honey, I appreciate you so much for the way you take care of us. Thank you so much for always taking the trash out.”
Over the years, I’ve discovered that the saying, “You get more bees with honey,” holds true especially when it comes to my husband. If I approach him in a negative way, I am likely to get a negative response. If I approach him in a more loving and appreciative manner, I am likely to get the response I was hoping for.
The formula for staying together is also simple. The single most effective way to stay together is to decide together to take divorce off the table. In Matthew 19:6, the scripture says, “What God has joined together, let no man put asunder.”
That includes you. When we read that scripture, we often think that it only applies to another man or woman. However, that scripture also applies to us as well. Sometimes we can get in our way and create barriers that impede our own marital success. Sometimes we throw in the towel too soon, just when we are on the cusp of a breakthrough. Remaining committed to the vows you made to each other and more importantly, the vows you all made to God is important. My prayer is that your commitment to God will keep you, even when your commitment to each other is challenged.