You Can Initiate Sex
I challenged many of my friends to initiate sex with their husbands in creative ways, and give me feedback on it. (Yes, it was awkward, but my friends all thanked me later – one of the perils of being friends with an author.)
My friend “B” wrote me a note and said: “Wow! I realized after doing your challenge that I have fallen into the habit of letting my husband always initiate sex. He’s good at initiating, and he does it often. So, we just sort of fell into a routine where I waited for him to take charge.”
By simply initiating sex, “B” helped her husband feel desired, wanted, and joyful.
Realize that Every Relationship is Different
My friend “N” told me, when they were in premarital counseling, the pastor asked her husband how many times a week was the “right amount of times” to have sex. His answer was nine. “N” said she spit out her water. I asked my husband, Cameron, the same question, and he told me three. My point is that every relationship is different. And whether you want sex nine times a day or nine times a year, that isn’t necessarily wrong. It’s just important that you communicate in a way that’s honest, open, and willing. If you’re hurt about feeling rejected, tell him. And if you feel like he wants sex eight times a day too often, tell him that too.
Go All-Out for Sex Sometimes
I’m not an extravagant person. I’m perfectly happy with plain-old normal coffee. I’m perfectly happy wearing inexpensive clothes, using drugstore makeup, and eating burgers and fries. I like my simple life, with my simple family, and my simple taste.
Go All-Out for Sex Sometimes
I’m not an extravagant person. I’m perfectly happy with plain-old normal coffee. I’m perfectly happy wearing inexpensive clothes, using drugstore makeup, and eating burgers and fries. I like my simple life, with my simple family, and my simple taste.
But for marital sex, I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s good to go all-out. I may not need expensive clothes, but expensive bras and panties? Totally worth it! I may not need to eat at a fancy restaurant, but for date night? Worth it! And I’m fine with Motel 6 for our family vacation; but if I’m going away overnight with my hubby, we upgrade to a better hotel. Of course, I’m not telling you to break your budget for sex, but I’m telling you that investing in an extravagant sex life from time-to-time is worth the cost. Go ahead and pay a babysitter for date night, buy those black lace panties, pick up that aromatherapy, and reserve a night in that super romantic hotel. And let your husband know that you’re both worth it! 
