BY PAM FARREL
THERE’S A STORY of a married man who, after hanging out with friends, arrived home late. He was hoping for a little “red-hot romance,” but found his wife snoring away. So he went and got a bottle of aspirin, and dropped two into her mouth. She promptly woke up.
“What are you doing?” she said.
“I thought you needed a couple of aspirin,” he responded.
“No! I don’t have a headache!”
“That’s all I wanted to hear,” he sweetly replied.
This story is amusing, but it accurately describes the sex-life of many marriages. After a long day, wives are exhausted. Most of us want to sleep, rather than have sex. And having a “headache” is the easiest way to say, “Not tonight!” But while reading a magazine, I came across an interesting article. It said sex opens up blood vessels, which lessens migraine pain. In addition, it promotes better sleep, reduces stress, boosts the immune system, and strengthens the emotional connection between spouses. If that’s not enough motivation to improve the quantity (and quality) of sex in your marriage, the Bible emphasizes its importance. And it says some pretty steamy stuff! Here are a few tips from King Solomon’s wife, the Shulammite woman, on treating your “headache” and heating up your marital romance.
Tip 1: Take it Outside
In Song of Solomon 7:12, King Solomon’s wife said:
“Let’s go out to the vineyards early. Let’s go and see if the vines have budded. Let’s find out whether their flowers have opened. Let’s see if the pomegranate trees are blooming. I’ll make love to you in the vineyards” (New International Reader’s Version).
This red-hot wife of the Bible was inviting her husband to have sex outside! As a modern-day woman, you might not frolic in the vineyards, but (when people are far away) you can have a rendezvous with your husband on a bed of leaves (in your backyard) or private sandy beach.
Tip 2: Send Him a Message
In Song of Solomon 8:14, King Solomon’s wife said:
Come quickly, my love. Be like a gazelle or young stag on the mountains of spices” (The Voice).
The King’s wife was telling her husband, “Hurry up! I want to make love to you now!” Today, you can email or text your husband a passionate, unexpected message. Tell him that you can’t wait until he gets home. Let him know that you’re waiting to make love to him. A mid-day message will infuse youthful excitement into your marriage, and leave your hubby excited to see you at the end of the day.
Tip 3: Build His Confidence
In Song of Solomon 1:16, King Solomon’s wife said:
“You are so handsome, my lover! Yes, and so charming! Our bed is so fresh and pleasant” (Easy-to-Read Version).
Repeatedly, the Bible teaches the importance of words. This lesson extends to the marital relationship. It’s hard (and nearly impossible) to be intimate with someone who says hurtful, insulting, and nagging things. Therefore, set the romantic atmosphere with sincere compliments that build your man up. King Solomon’s wife did it, and she did it well.
Tip 4: Tell Him What You Want
In Song of Solomon 2:6, King Solomon’s wife said:
“Put your left hand under my head, and embrace me with your right arm” (Contemporary English Version).
It’s no secret that many married women are sexually unsatisfied. They view marital intimacy as a chore, rather than a joy. However, King Solomon’s wife told her husband exactly what she wanted. She wasn’t afraid to tell him where and how to touch her. She was bold and confident in her sexuality. So tell your husband what you like, and how he should do it. Your husband desires to satisfy you, and you deserve to be sexually fulfilled in your marriage.
Tip 5: Try Something New
In Song of Solomon 7:13, King Solomon’s wife said:
"I have saved many pleasant things for you, my lover, pleasant things, new and old” (Easy-to-Read Version).
King Solomon’s wife made her marital bed exciting. She kept old things that were “pleasant,” but added new things to keep it pleasantly exciting! Don’t be boring. Explore different (and mutually agreed upon) ways to make love to your husband. God devoted an entire (red-hot) book in the Bible to marital sex. It’s important, it should be satisfying, and you can explore new ways to keep it fun.