When to Say “No”
Say “NO” when someone or something hurts you.
Say “NO” when something goes against the will of God.
Say “NO” when your conscience disagrees with a request.
Say “NO” when you don’t feel at peace about saying “yes.” 

Know the Difference
There’s a big difference between helping and enabling someone. Helping is doing something for someone that they can’t do themselves. Enabling is doing something for someone that they can (and should) be doing themselves. Unfortunately, many women are approaching burnout (some are already there!) because they’re living multiple lives – their own, their children’s, their friends’, their coworkers’, their husbands’, and the list goes on. However, it’s impossible for you to answer your calling, if you’re too busy doing things that waste your time. In their book (Boundaries), Henry Cloud and John Townsend offer this warning:

“We were created to take responsibility for certain tasks. Part of taking responsibility, or ownership, is knowing what is our job, and what isn’t. People who continually take on duties that aren’t theirs will eventually burn out. It takes wisdom to know what we should be doing and what we shouldn’t. We can’t do everything.” 

Ask Yourself these Questions, and Answer them Honestly:

1. Do you find yourself doing things for people that you know they should be doing for themselves?
2. Do you do things so others will approve of you?
3. Are you desperate to hold on to someone’s affections – so much that you compromise your principles
4. Do you do things because you’re afraid of someone not being in your life?
5. When you say “yes,” do you later feel stressed?
6. Do you say “yes” because of your insecurities, voids, and a need to be needed?
7. When you say “no,” do you feel guilty?

Be Prepared
If you answered “yes” to any of those seven questions, you need an action plan! People are pretty good at sweet-talking, whining, and begging. But, with practice, you can become even better at saying “no” – without feeling guilty. For example:

When a friend asks you to bake your incredible cupcakes for her child’s birthday party (and you don’t have the time, heart, or energy to take on the project), say something like this:
“Although I’m unable to bake the cupcakes this time, I can give you the recipe. It’s simple, and I know that you can do a great job.”

If someone at church asks you to take on another project (and your plate is already full), try this: