Reminiscing on her and her husband’s ministerial success, Dr. Betty remembers their small beginnings. “There were days when we hardly had enough to meet our needs ... and there was never anything extra. We struggled for the first seventeen years of our marriage.” Even through the hard times, Dr. Betty stood by her man,but maintained a level head.“I believe we struggled partly because Fred lost his job, was immature in handling the family’s income, and because he made unaffordable purchases,” she shares candidly. “Often times, wives simply go along with their husband’s foolishness, not wanting to ‘rock the boat’ ... sometimes the boat needs to be rocked if the marriage is to go on to ‘smooth sailing.’”
Although feminine and soft spoken, Dr. Betty possesses the sharp-tongue of a prophet who forewarns God’s people. In her latest book, A Warning to Ministers, Their Wives, and Mistresses, she addresses infidelity among ministers. “I’ve been concerned about many of the leaders in the body of Christ because of what I’ve seen in over fifty years of ministry with my husband,” she shares. “I know of stories of men who have had babies with various women in their churches, stories of perverted sex, and husbands in ministry who have AIDS and other STDS because they are sleeping with other men ... some have passed them on to their wives ... abominable things.”
After many years of receiving calls from distraught ministerial wives about their husbands’ infidelity, and letters from mistresses who desperately wanted to get out of unhealthy affairs with prominent pastors, Dr. Betty decided that something needed to be done. “In many cases, the ministers threaten these women or try to find ways to keep them in the relationship,” she says. “After receiving many correspondences from women all over the country, my daughter said, ‘Mom, you have to write a book.’ ... I wrote [A Warning to Ministers, Their Wives, and Mistresses] to warn ministers to think about what they are doing to their families, and especially their children, by practicing sexual immorality. I also wrote the book to let the world know that there are thousands of ministers who live a godly life despite consistent temptation,” Dr. Betty says.
A Warning to Ministers, Their Wives, and Mistresses is unguarded and holds no punches. While scolding men of God who lack sexual discipline, and delivering unreserved counsel to naïve mistresses, Dr. Betty teaches a shrewd message. “Women should be committed to satisfying their husbands,” she sharply states. “There is no excuse for adultery, but there is also no excuse for withholding your body from your husband. The devil will try to tempt him, and it becomes significantly difficult for godly men to resist this temptation if they are sexually unsatisfied,” she continues. “I had to learn to generously share my body with my husband. ... There were occasions when I did not feel like being intimate with Fred because of the pressures of life – anxiety about clothing the children, food to eat, and the bills that were unpaid. But, understanding how important sex is in a marriage, I prayed to the Lord and asked Him to help me deal with this problem. I was determined that if our marriage did not work out, it would not be my fault.”
According to Dr. Betty, God is concerned about every area of our lives; including the intimacy between a husband and wife. She also firmly believes that although wives are called to freely give their bodies to their husbands, they are not called to be doormats. “When Fred and I first became Spirit-filled, we were hungry for the things of the Spirit. At the time, there were many people giving prophecies, including this woman who came to our church. ... She always had a ‘word’ for my husband. ... She was telling him stuff all the time. At the end of every service and every Bible study, she was right there in front of him. Nobody else could talk to him,” Dr. Betty recollects. “She eventually started calling our house, and continued telling him stories about ‘what God said.’ My husband was not sexually interested in her, but I could see that the devil was trying to set him up. I could see the error in what this woman was doing. There were several women in our ministry who made advances toward my husband, but this particular woman held his attention by talking about ‘spiritual’ things. My husband could not understand my point of view because his interaction with this woman was not physical. ... I knew, however, that ‘spiritual’ things could change to ‘physical’ things if you spend that much time with the opposite sex,” Dr. Betty persists.
