Offer Prayer, Not Advice
Telling a woman “how” she should handle a miscarriage is a recipe for disaster. Despite your intentions, your advice will seem judgmental, distasteful, and downright rude. Prayer is a much better approach. Ask your friend if she has any prayer requests, and pray for her needs. Also, reassure her that she can call whenever she desires a prayer partner. Matthew 21:22 promises, “You can pray for anything, and if you have faith, you will receive it” (New Living Translation).
Acknowledge the Baby
Having a late term miscarriage can be beyond heartbreaking. In many cases, the baby would already be named, nursery items would have been selected, and some baby clothes would have been purchased. It’s important to acknowledge that the baby was a real person. If the parents refer to their lost child by his or her name, you should too. Also, memorial gifts are often appreciated when a late term miscarriage occurs. Having a star named after the baby, planting a tree in his or her memory, and sending a personalized card are just a few ways to show love. However, memorial gifts aren’t recommended for early term miscarriages. Luke 6:38 encourages, “Give to others, and you will receive. You will be given much. It will be poured into your hands – more than you can hold. You will be given so much that it will spill into your lap. The way you give to others is the way God will give to you” (Easy-to-Read Version).
Respect Her Privacy
Publicizing your friend’s miscarriage is an absolute no-no. Thus, social media and other public environments aren’t the place to show your support. Most people prefer to handle a miscarriage privately – and, if that’s not the case, they can share it themselves! Always remember to give your support ... while giving respect. Matthew 7:12 teaches, “Here is a simple, rule-of-thumb guide for behavior: Ask yourself what you want people to do for you, then grab the initiative and do it for them” (The Message Bible).
Don’t Forget Fathers
After a miscarriage, people tend to console women, but forget to console men. But, both parents grieve the loss of a child. Men often pride themselves on being providers and protectors. So, after a miscarriage, a father can feel like a tremendous failure. A man commonly grieves the inability to protect his family pain, and the inability to “fix” what was wrong. He also mourns the dreams that he harbored for his child. Unlike a woman, a man is less likely to talk about his grief. He often suffers silently, and feels a need to appear strong (for the child’s mother, society, and even himself). However, you can support a father by acknowledging his loss. Include dad in the texts, cards, and support you give. Let him know that you acknowledge his hidden sorrow, and you’re sorry for his loss. 2 Corinthians 1:4 states, “When others have trouble, we can comfort them with the same comfort God gives us” (Easy-to-Read Version).
Continue Your Support
Give your friend continued support. Grief can take longer than one week, one month, and even one year to overcome. However, consistently “being there” doesn’t have to include continuously mentioning the miscarriage. Simple things like occasionally chatting on the phone, meeting at a restaurant, or watching television on the couch can keep your friend’s mind off her sorrow. Galatians 6:9 urges, “Don’t get tired of helping others. You will be rewarded when the time is right, if you don’t give up” (Contemporary English Version). 
